Leading journals welcome scientific War on Terror™

Leading journals in the US today welcomed a breakthrough in their aim to encourage scientific advancement. From now on they will not publish any information that could be used by terrorists for bad things.

It is hoped the courageous step will led to a cure for cancer within three years.

The American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS) released a statement at its annual meeting explaining that it is crucial concerns over terrorism do not affect the release of valuable medical research. For that reason, new research data that could be abused will no longer be published, it stated.

The statement, signed by 32 editors of scientific journals, was in response to Nine Eleven™ and the subsequent horrific anthrax attacks that claimed the lives of an old man with an existing medical condition.

President of the American Society of Microbiology, Ronald Atlas, told the press: "We work towards public health and if we slow down the pace of our research, people will die. On the other hand, in the wrong hands this information could kill an unspecified number of guinea pigs."

The move is just one rational response in a wider US policy of calm reflection following the terrorist attacks nearly a year-and-a-half ago.

It is hoped that freed from the concerns that their work may be used to murder other Americans, scientists will redouble their efforts to make patented drugs for syndromes and disorders in the US market. This could lead to a preventative cure for cancer within two years, Atlas predicted.

The measures are also a twig in the spokes of the terrorists' bicycle, with one banned terrorist telling us under condition of anonymity that most attacks were inspired by copies of Nature.

"We learnt everything we know from scientific manuals," he told The Rockall Times. "With this driving force removed, our ability to launch suicide attacks is hugely reduced. Without that white paper on haematemesis and melaena, we would never have been able to take over the planes and fly them into the World Trade Center. This is a sad day for fanatical murderers everywhere."