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Pope honoured by Blair visit

His Holiness Tony Blair this week agreed to hold a private audience with Karol Wojtyla, leader of Mediterranean state Vatican, and self-styled "pope".

In a rare shift in protocol, Blair has honoured Wojtyla by arranging the meeting at his Vatican residence. Observers say Blair plans to discuss the forthcoming Holy War in the Middle East.

The Pope surprised many last month when he opposed the crusade in Iraq to regain the holy oil wells, so risking the ire of thousands of Tony's followers. The unprecedented challenge of Tony's authority immediately led to calls from the Blair evangelical church in Washington for regime change.

Preacher Dubya led his congregation in condemning the white-capped old man, who he pointed out what not democratically elected and has subjugated millions both at home and abroad.

However, benevolent Blair has stepped in and hopes to persuade the Pope to turn back to the path of righteousness — where Tony is always right.

It has even been suggested that Reverend Blair will confer canonisation upon Mr Wojtyla in a gesture of reconciliation. However, a source close to the government denied such a move, pointing out that Reverend Blair has done many good works, while the Pope has done nothing more than drive around in a mobile greenhouse telling people not to use condoms.

After the meeting, His Toniness will jet off to Israel, where he is scheduled to walk across the Sea of Galilee before turning water into wine and Iraq into a stable, America-friendly democracy.

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