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Clare Short in shock cabinet threat

British diplomats at the United Nations in New York were yesterday working furiously to halt progress towards any second resolution on Iraq after it was reported that conscience peddler Clare Short might remain in government if it were passed.

"We thought we'd done enough to get her to walk out," Blair is said to have said to supporters while attending the Rail Privatisation Awards ceremony on Necker Island, "but now we find if the UN give her an excuse she'll stay on. What more can I do?"

The prime master is said to have tried to reason earlier with Short and pointed out that even if a second resolution was passed before any attack, the same amount of people would die when bombardment commenced.

But Short apparently told Blair that it didn't matter since her belief remained that the Iraqi people would understand the benefit of their being obliterated so long as the UN had given its approval beforehand.

Journalists contacted Short yesterday to request a short statement on the affair but were disappointed. When she emerged from her luxury penthouse flat in the heart of Birmingham's Golden Elephants district, Short's proclamation went on for so long that their tapes had ran out before she said anything new.

Last night, there were reports that the French government might acquiesce in an attack without a second resolution if that meant the departure of Calamity Clare. Said brave president Chirac: "There's only room for one grandstanding moralist in world politics — c'est moi."

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