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Scrap FA Cup qualifiers, Arsenal demand

Arsenal supremo Arsene Wenger has appealed for his team to be excused "highly inconvenient" FA Cup ties as a fixture pile-up threatens the Gunners' smooth march to their annual Champions League quarter-final elimination.

"We are made to play far too many matches," said the legendarily non-bellicose Frenchman, "and each one of these increases the chances of us losing. There needs to be some way to cut back on these unnecessary games."

Wenger's proposal would see all Arsenal FA Cup ties eliminated except for the final for which they would automatically qualify. There they would compete against a side that had battled their way through by traditional methods providing Arsenal were not competing that week in any prestigious tournament in Dubai or Malaysia, in which case the cup would be awarded to Arsenal by default.

"I understand why other clubs may want to battle their way to glory with time-consuming matches," Wenger conceded with a world-weary Gallic shrug. "They need the gate receipts. But what about us? We have a reputation to think about. If we have to play against weaker teams they might get lucky and beat us. Is that in the true spirit of the Premier League? I think not."

Wenger's radical proposal has failed to receive backing from any other Premier League clubs. Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson took a moment from slapping one of his Old Trafford stars with a metal-studded boot to comment: "The FA cup is irrelevant. The only competition which matters is the competition in which we still have a chance of winning. If we're eliminated, that competition becomes irrelevant. At the moment, the Premiership still has relevance for us. Whether that will still be the case in three weeks' time remains to be seen."

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