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The Dogs of Phwoar!

We have some GREAT news for our fighting lads in Iraq this morning as another Scudload of Page 3 stunnas strip off their combat fatigues to boost the phwoar effort!

The message to our troops is this: kill Iraqis and you too might one day have the chance to engage in intercourse with one of our "Desert Dorises". Fix bayonets and chaaaaaaaarge!

Donalda, 114, from Washington

They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but Donalda, 114, can certainly teach us a thing or two about keeping in great shape! Donalda, from Washington, says: "I get in about two solid hours a day of furious and indignant rage against Arabs. It keeps me in great shape and George says I've got the breasts of a 16-year-old Playboy centerfold. Or so his security advisers tell him."

Well, Donalda, one thing is certain: you'll be keeping the flagpoles of America firm and erect for many years to come!

Fatima, 18, from Riyadh

It's all go on the Saudi home front as peek-a-boo-burqa-tastic Fatima, 18, shows our lads what we're fighting for — and more! Fatima, who hails from sunny Riyadh, told us: "Being a Saudi patriot, I am pledged to fight for democracy wherever it is threatened. I hope that by flashing my bombers, this war is brought to a swift and satisfactory conclusion." Well, Fatima, we don't know about that, but one thing is certain: you've made your points!

Clare, 23, from London

Forces sweetheart Clare, 23, is among our most cherished political pin-ups. Poor Clare: despite backing our boys 100 per cent from day one, she worries that her modelling days might now be over. Cheer up Clare! Here's our suggestion as to one position that might yet keep you in the cabinet. Boom boom!

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