West Londoners back Ken's new tram route

London mayor Ken Livingstone was yesterday jubilant over public backing for his plan to build a tram route in west London.

Celebration broke out at GLA headquarters at 11am and continued late into the night as intense young men and women drank jumbo cans of full-strength Um Bongo and enthused about new integrated transport systems, push/pull bus costs and Ken's messianic vision.

The celebrations followed publication of a survey for a new high-speed route that would whisk people from the Asda car park in Uxbridge to the edge of Shepherd's Bush Special Needs Centre in under three hours.

A decisive 77 per cent of those consulted said they believed it was a good idea, with just 23 per cent against. "Don't knows" accounted for 60 per cent and were included with the yeses.

"This is a complete vindication of everything I've done," said a happy Mr Livingstone from his home at Biddy Mulligan's pub in Kilburn. "I asked ordinary employees of TfL based in west London if they approved of the idea and I'm gratified the response has been so positive. Their jobs should now be safe."

The "Livingstone Link" as it will be called is expected to be up and ready by June 2032. And in a futuristic move, the trams will be remotely controlled and will need no driver. Livingstone has already signed a deal with trade unions that will see each tram run by a minimum of four staff.

The poll results are all the more surprising since the initiative will see large sections of west London effectively shut off for the next 20 years as the trams are run down existing main roads and cars forced to take the north circular to East Finchley to get into central London.

Residents' associations have questioned the results, pointing out that they had not been asked their views. But then that's what you'd expect them to say, isn't it? Nothing wrong with a bit of progress.

Meanwhile, the Evening Standard greeted the news by applying for an indictment at the International Court for Ken to be tried for crimes against humanity. The newt-lover had, according to the paper, been the mastermind behind the apatheid regime in South Africa and directly responsible for the deaths of over 14,000 South and Central American citizens in the 1800s.

You can read a much fuller version of the interview with Ken Livingstone about the Super Tram in this week's copy of The Londoner — an independent paper distributed free to all those living in the capital.