Local man wins Saddam lookalike competition

Despite the heavy bombing of Baghdad, this year's Saddam lookalike competition went ahead as usual with local man Mr Latif Naeem Nazih Naher Nahin Noho Suaoud taking first prize.

Incredibly, the Baghdad chapter of the Official Saddam Hussein fan club, witnessed the appearance of the Iraqi president's third best impersonator and winner of the title four years ago, Mr S Hussein. Mr Hussein went on to ask as main judge.

Promoters and spectators alike were delighted by a closely fought contest between hundreds of budding Saddams. As eventual winner, Mr Suaoud narrowly edged out his competitors in the final round of judging by firing a rifle into the air while chanting "Down with Boosh!"

Commenting on his winning moves, Mr Suaoud stated: "I knew that competition was fierce. Any one of six fellow Iraqi patriots could have won it as we entered the final swimsuit phase. My moustache is certainly thick and bristly like our great leader's, but so too were many of the other contestants. I knew I had to do something special, and I did." The man who has long been known to friends and family as "Little Saddam" added: "All my life, all my life, I'm so excited! It's a dream come true."

Mr Suaoud has won an all-expenses-paid trip to a trench on the border with Kuwait, decked out in an autographed pair of Air Saddams. The remainder of the contestants are left to dwell on what might have been, and to prepare for next year's inaugural "I Wanna Be Like Dubya" event.