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  Monday 14th April 2003  Sport   Powered by Yeast Logic
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Real Madrid to bid for Beckham shirt rights?

Dual benefit for fava bean counters
by Juan Sebastian Gaucho

Executives at footballing corporation Real Madrid announced today they have solved the problem of how to gain access to the shirt-selling benefit associated with David Beckham without actually having to stick him in their side.

"We believe that Real could win with just ten men on the pitch which would allow us to play Beckham without compromising the team," commented Unsporting Director Jorge Valdano while sipping a fine liqueur at a city-centre tapas bar and mulling over the role of the intellectual in the Beautiful Game, "but it would offend my aesthetic sensibilities to do so."

Instead, Real's fava bean counters have hit upon an innovative idea which should see the side get what they want. The groundbreaking deal will see Beckham remain at Old Trafford but wear a Real Madrid top for United's fixtures.

European football authorities initially explained that the proposal was "absolutely unacceptable" since it would violate all existing rules of the game. However, having received a telephone call from Madrid they have since explained that "a closer reading of the rules" shows it to be "unexpectedly quite legal".

"It's perfect," explained Real President Florentino Perez. "We tap into the billions of Yen generated by the Japanese replica kit market without our manager having to put up with Beckham, or Madrid's shop assistants being subjected to his shrieking wife."

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