UK army introduces dress-down Fridays

In an attempt to improve the moral and fighting efficiency of British troops, the ministry of defence today announced it was introducing "dress-down Fridays" with immediate effect.

UK troops, aircrew and sailors will henceforth be required to swap their camouflage, battle fatigues and jump suits for slacks, jeans, T-shirts and polo-neck sweaters at the end of the working week. The initiative, dreamed up by the military services but given the full backing of Downing Street, is aimed at relaxing what can be the stifling environment of armed combat and warship control posts.

The army, navy and air force have denied taking a cue from civilian life however — dress-down days have been popular in offices for some years now and have proved to boost staff moral and efficiency. "We got the idea from the Iraqi Republican guard," said MoD spokesman, Lt Colonel Pinkerton-Bastard. "In uniform they ran like girls, but when they dressed down and took the formal uniform off they fought like tigers against overwhelming odds. So we thought anything the filthy Arabs can do, we can do better."

British forces stationed in Iraq have greeted the idea with enthusiasm: "Anything that makes our troops a less conspicuous target for American pilots is a good thing," said Private Wayne Kerr of the Rockall Light Infantry, "besides my granny has sent me a nice knitted cardie for the cold desert nights and I don't often get the chance to wear it."

However critics have pointed out that the policy means all military personnel will be forced to acquire sufficient clothes in order to comply with the spirit of the order. "I don't really have many civvy clothes," one recruit told us. "And to be honest they're a bit tatty. Now I'll have to get myself a whole new wardrobe."

Opportunities for shopping are also limited, with the only approved store for two of the services — Army & Navy — maintaining a limited outlet roll-out in the Middle East. The Air Force, given free reign of stores, are delighted however. "We've been told nothing too clingy or revealing, but I'm gonna have a whale of a time," one pilot said.

It is hoped that the new policy will be in place by the end of the month, so troops can ready to invade Syria (or North Korea, or Libya, or Iran, or Somalia) in a range of fetching styles.