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George Galloway enjoyed three-in-a-bed orgies with devil worshipping pimp from the Special Republican Guard

Rogue MP George Galloway is set for further disgrace today, as we can exclusively reveal that the bum-chum of former Iraqi dicatator Saddam Hussein enjoyed special "favours" from the Iraqi regime in return for selling out his country to that murderous tyrant.

Indeed, papers have come into our possession which show beyond a shadow of a doubt that not only did "Baghdad George" receive more than 86 BILLION DOLLARS from his Iraqi paymasters, but that a laughing Galloway EXECUTED Kurdish women and children in a Basra torture room, KICKED old ladies into the road during "fact-finding" tours of Tikrit and ENJOYED nights of depraved lust with Uday Hussein during which the two men PLEASURED each other and members of the Special Republican Guard while drinking the blood of Iranian virgins supplied by the North Korean secret police.

Readers may find these allegations incredible, shocking even, but we are prepared to put our journalistic careers on the line to defend our assertion that the dossier of filth we have assembled is nothing less than the whole, fantastic truth about George Galloway and his international network of money-laundering paedophiles.

As Galloway tonight cowers in his luxury 100-bedroom Portuguese mansion, financed and built by Libyan "contractors" on the payroll of Colonel Gaddaffi's feared "Ministry of Public Works", he continues to protest his innocence. Indeed, we at The Rockall Times this morning received notice from Galloway's lawyers that publication of any material regarding their client's so-called "charitable activities" would be actionable.

Well, Mr Galloway, while you're sitting by your solid-gold pool this morning tucking into champagne and caviar at the tax payers' expense while naked Yemeni serving girls pleasure themselves for your amusement, let's see if this improves your appetite:

From: Saddam Hussein
Baghdad

Dear George,

Please find enclosed the cheque for $100 million as promised for your "Iraqi leukaemia kiddie appeal". Nice one, me and the lads had a good laugh about that.

Uday sends his regards and says thanks very much for the gold-plated AK-47 you sent him on your last trip to Havana. I hope Fidel is well. He does seem a bit frail these days, and it's going to be a bit difficult getting a suitable base for a nuclear strike against the American infidels once he's popped his clogs.

Anyway, the weather here is fine. The North Korean ambassador nipped round yesterday for a chat. The old dog's 74-years-old and still managed to deflower 16 Kurdish virgins before battering to death a butler with his walking stick. Poor bloke had apparently put the fish knife on the wrong side of the plate. I said to him afterwards: "I really wish you wouldn't murder my staff — that's Uday's job." We nearly pissed ourselves laughing.

Later, we went over to the Ba'ath party headquarters and tortured my cousin Mohammed for half an hour or so. You remember, the one who forgot my wife's birthday. He won't do that again in a hurry.

Nearly forgot: I'll need a receipt for that money, preferably on House of Commons headed notepaper. It's for the tax people, you understand. And please make sure you itemise the stuff we discussed, otherwise I can't claim back the VAT.

Look forward to speaking soon. Tell Osama I send my regards when you see him next week.

Yours,

Saddam

Here is Galloway's damning reply, printed here in full:

George Galloway MP
Houses of Parliament
London

My dearest most excellent Saddam, Lord of the Tigris and Rising Sun over the Euphrates,

Your majesty must accept my humble thanks for the donation which will be wisely spent in furthering the cause of the "Iraqi leukaemia kiddie appeal".

Your Imperial Highness honours me with his attention, and it is with humility and respect that I attach the following itemised receipt, as requested:

To: Saddam Hussein al-Tikrit PLC
The Palace
Baghdad

Received from the above the sum of $100 million for the following services:

• To further the cause of Iraq and its government around the world
• To travel first-class to any state sympathetic to our common cause of the overthrow of western democracy
• To sell out the British forces in any military action against Iraq by supplying valuable intelligence about British capabilities, logistics and troop movements
• To maintain a luxury 100-room mansion in Portugal for use of the donor in the event of any such military action taking a turn for the worse
• To forward a Fortnum and Mason's picnic hamper each month to a Royal Palace to be specified by coded advertisement in the Times.

I reckon that just about covers it. I've left out the stuff about buying mustard gas and nuclear bombs to use against Israel, just in case this letter ever falls into the hands of the British press. Sounds silly, but stranger things have happened.

Keep your chin up,

George

Given this damning correspondence, it seems incredible that Galloway still maintains that he is nothing more than a rebel Member of Parliament with strongly-held anti-war beliefs. We concede that many among the British electorate may share his revulsion at armed conflict, but what will they say after they have read this incredible written confession, supplied by Tariq Aziz to the CIA as part of his surrender deal?:

George Galloway
The 100-bedroom luxury mansion
Portugal

Dear Tariq,

I can't tell you how's it's been since I left my beloved Uday. I've never known a night like it: the jasmine-scented air wafting over the Tigris, the stars blazing like anti-aircraft fire over the enchanted city of Baghdad.

You know, our eyes first met over that war cabinet table. It ws an instant, animal attraction. We called a cab to go to his palace but we didn't even make it down the ceremonial entrance corridor. We ripped our clothes off in a frenzy of animal lust. We explored each others' bodies for what seemed an age. Uday has a fantastic physique by the way. It's clear that he works out a lot — probably beating political prisoners to death.

He satisfied me completely as a man. After a 10-minute break for tea, we were joined by one on Uday's favourites from the Special Republican Guard. Let me just say, as soon as I pulled down his boxers I could see why they call them special!

When it was all over we just cuddled and kissed and watched the dawn together. Oh God! The pain of separation is unbearable!

George

PS. Did you get the plans for the top-secret rocket project I sent you? I reckon you'll be able to hit Tel-Aviv with that, no problem. I didn't mention it on the phone the other day because you never know when the British press are listening in. Better to be safe than sorry, eh? If this ever got out I'd be in a right royal pickle, wouldn't I?

Yes you would, Mr Galloway, yes you would.

Next week:

How Galloway financed purchase of Bangkok paedophile short-stay hotel by selling the organs of murdered kiddies on a Russian Lolitas website

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