Eat more chocolate and achieve sporting excellence, stars tell kids

International sporting heroes have backed the campaign of UK sports minister Richard Caborn to get children to eat more chocolate in the interests of fitness and an increased supply of contributions to the Labour Party.

The deal arranged between the ministry and nutritional company Cadbury's will see schools receiving an extra orange-coloured training bib for every 40-foot container of Fruit and Nut bars consumed by their kids.

Incredibly, there has been criticism of the ground-breaking agreement by various health food Marxists, upset that their hope of getting youngsters to eat a piece of fresh fruit or vegetable per year is being scuppered.

Cadbury's has already pointed out that their delicious chocolate contains cocoa beans "which are a sort of vegetable". And the firm's chief medical officer added: "I really don't see what the problem is. Our chocolate is every bit as wholesome as the Sunny D Daley Thompson recommends you swill it down with."

Reaction around the world from sportsmen and women has been uniformly positive. "Chocolate is great for energy and I need a lot of that when I'm playing," commented Real Madrid star Luiz Ronaldo in a television ad that will change the world forever.

"I love Cadbury's and the nutritional products they so lovingly produce and I'm no spacca," said Rio Ferdinand. Other stars who have backed the initiative include Paul Gascoigne, John Daly, and Konishiki.