That sensational Teresa May radio interview in full

Here we publish in full the transcript of Tory party chairwoman Teresa May's interview on the Today programme on Friday morning — the last interview before she was removed from the House of Commons by police officers equipped with dogs and nets.

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John Humphrys: And here to answer some of those questions is Tory chairwoman Teresa May. Well, it from one disaster to another, the Tory party appears cursed, doesn't it?

Teresa May: Ha ha ha. I absolutely cannot agree that we are cursed, the local elections results were a devastating blow to the government. It just shows that we have the backing of the country on this and that people have started to see through New Labour's lies.

JH: We will of course talk about the elections but first I want to ask about the resignation of Crispin Blunt. This puts Iain Duncan Smith in hot water doesn't it?

TM: Not at all, the Conservative Party has never looked stronger. Across the country people in Maidenhead, in Taunton, all across the UK have clearly voted Conservative and it just shows that we are the people's choice.

JH: Yes, but a front-bench minister has quit stating that he believes the Tory needs a new leader if you to have a chance of winning the general election.

TM: Look John, let's get this into perspective. We won over 500 seats and this is a clear vote of confidence in what we are doing.

JH: But still, it looks as though there is another leadership challenge on the cards...

TM: People in Taunton and Maidenhead have recognised that the government is not delivering. It was a crushing blow, we won over 500 seats...

JH: Well, last time you gained 1,300 seats but still lost extremely badly in the general election. You were forced to change leader yet again. Surely it's only a matter of time before Iain Duncan Smith is forced to step down?

TM: It was a great victory and voters in Taunton have voted with their feet and have chosen us...

JH: But Iain Duncan Smith will not be leader for the next general election.

TM: Iain has never been in a stronger position. No one questions his ability to lead us into government...

JH: Crispin Blunt does. He quit over the issue and stated quite clearly that he wanted to see Iain Duncan Smith.

TM: Let's get this into perspective. No one is questioning whether Iain should lead into the next general election...

JH: Yes, they are...

TM: Voters in Taunton and Maidenhead...

JH: Crispin Blunt says he has 24 MPs willing to back him into asking for a leadership contest.

TM: That simply isn't true. We have never looked stronger and we are certain to win the next election. Voters in Tauton...

JH: Well, we have spoken to over 30 MPs this morning that said they would push for another leadership contest.

TM: No you haven't. With the 500 seats that we won, no one is asking for Iain to do anything but continue pressuring the government...

JH: Well, we've got 16 of them on the phones right now. Hello, are you there?

16 Conservative MPs: Yes.

JH: Are you willing to ask for a new Tory leader?

16 Conservative MPs: Yes.

JH: What do you say to that Teresa May?

TM: There is no doubt that Iain will lead us to victory at the next general election. Voters in Maidenhead...

JH: The truth is that the Conservative party is tearing itself apart again.

TM: That simply isn't true. Everyone is 100 per cent behind Iain....

JH: Why did Mr Blunt quit then?

TM: No.

JH: No?

TM: There is no talk of Ian doing anything other than leading us to victory. People in Maidenhead...

JH: But a front-bench minister quit because...

TM: No. No one quit. No. Voters in Taunton...

JH: I'm afraid he did quit and now it seems that we will...

TM: Who quit? Who quit? You tell me that.

JH: Crispin Blunt, your energy minister.

TM: Never heard of him. No, everyone is 100 per cent behind Iain. Voters in Maidenhead...

JH: I'm sorry, correct me if I'm wrong but did you say you'd never heard of Crispin Blunt?

TM: Who?

JH: Crispin Blunt.

TM: No. 100 per cent. Maidenhead.

JH: I'm sorry, you appear to distracted...

TM: No. Taunton. Win next election. Government failing...

JH: Well, we have a psychiatrist in the studio who has been listening to the conversation. Dr Hook, do you believe Ms May is having a breakdown.

Dr Hook: Yes, I'm afraid it's classic. Her mind has quite clearly slipped.

TM: No. Perspective. Maidenhead. Bright future...

Dr Hook: Yes, I'm afraid we may lose her. We should get the police and some assistants down there before she does herself an injury. She will be frothing at the mouth a little and probably tugging her hair.

TM: I'm not frothing anywhere. Iain future is as the next prime minister...

JH: I'm afraid you are, we have you on a webcam here in the studio and we can see you quite clearly.

TM: No. The party has never been stronger. Terrific result. It just shows that the country is behind us. Nice cup of tea...

JH: Are you trying to tell us that there is no possibility at all that this threatens Iain Duncan Smith?

TM: I made a lovely doily yesterday mother. I did it myself. I saw a voter in Taunton. Taunt em. Taunt em. That's what they do — THAT'S WHAT YOU DO! But I know it's only your job. [Starts singing] Just a job, just a job, a bob-a-dobba-job...

JH: Ms May...

TM: Jobby jobby bobby. Maidenhead. Made in my head. All in my head. You're all in my head. Brain in a vat. You don't exist. Just me in my brain in my head vat.

JH: Well we have philosopher Bertrand Russell in the studio with us. Bertrand, are we just brain in vats? Is life nothing more than a intangible construct of our own imagination?

Bertrand Russell: No, we exist alright. The brain in a vat theory is just a sort of philosophical tool to have you see things from another perspective...

TM: Perspective, yes. Get it all into perspective. Draw lines from the vanishing point then draw the building on the lines so it looks right. Tricky with two but it can be done...

JH: Ms May...

TM: Taunton.

JH: Ms May...

TM: Maidenhead.

JH: Ms May, thankyou very much.

TM: Spank you.