Top 100 Britons tops Top 100 Top 100s poll

TV producer Pippy Clover was over the moon last night when it was revealed his ground-faking programme Top 100 Britons was voted into the number one slot for the Top 100 Top 100 programmes.

"This is a vindication of all those cynics that said I was simply recreating a cheap format show," said Clover. "The people have spoken and have clearly voted for all the innovative additions I made to the basic show idea. I truly am a remarkable human being and I haven't even taken any coke today."

The Top 100 Top 100s show was compiled from the votes of over 400,000 buffoons across the UK who paid a modest £1 a vote in an effort to make their lives worthwhile.

Despite Top 100 Britons topping the poll, however, many breathless newspapers columnists had predicted that Top 100 Worst Britons would come out as winner. In the end, it came third, just after Top 100 Mediocre Britons.

Top 100 Soap Stars came a dissapointing sixth despite the backing of a range of famous Top 100 pundits including Paul Ross, Vernon Gaye, Ally Ross and that fit but stupid one from whatsit.

Speaking up for Top 100 Britons was Kat Deeley. "Oh god, yeah, I remember that. Wasn't that incredible? I was totally hooked for weeks and when it came out me and all my girlfriends had a big night-in to watch. What about that Ewan McGregor, eh? Phwoah. Eh, girls?"

A spokesman for the Association of Imbecilic Television Shows, Joss McKwan, who was also producer of Top 100 Top 100s, was delighted with the programme. "The ratings were huge — we got a 34 per cent audience, which going against The Untreated Spice Girls and Ant and Dec's toilet bowl challenge was no mean feat."

McKwan also confirmed there were plenty more execrable Top 100 shows in the pipeline. "In the autumn schedule we already have Top 100 Top 100 pundits, Top 10 Top 100 Top 100s and Top 100 Top of the Pops with Haircut 100 — this is a very exciting time."