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SARS not as interesting as first thought

The SARS killer bug is not as interesting as first thought, reporters confirmed today.

The respiratory disease that has already caused hundreds of deaths in the Far East was originally believed to be an ideal topic to fill papers with panic-inducing scientifically selective material.

However, new tests have confirmed that the infectious bug is under control in Western countries, leading to a drying up of human interest stories and apocalypic visions.

News that the Chinese government is now doing everything it can to tackle the disease has also reduced the occurence of xenophobic epistles to dangerously low levels.

"I'm afraid that short of an unexpected outbreak among disadvantaged children, there is nothing we can do to keep SARS alive," said one newspaper executive. "It's a sad end but, unfortunately, one that we were able to do nothing about despite our best efforts."

Last week, the bug was so weak that papers were forced to print accurate information about its effects and risk to the populace. Despite regular injections of conjecture it soon became clear that recovery was out of the question.

One brave medical reporter has vowed to fight on however. "I don't care what people say, we must continue to let me write about this," he told us. "There is still hope. Last week, for example, we realised that it was more infectious than we first thought. Not only that but less people have been infected than we first thought. Besides, no one has yet tried that the vaccine is taking longer to manufacture than we at first hoped or that attempts to find its vector is proving more difficult than first thought."

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