Motorway vandals will not be prosecuted

A pair of vandals who endangered the lives of thousands of motorists travelling on motorways will not be prosecuted, it was revealed last night.

The announcement has caused public outrage. "This is absolutely ridiculous," said a spokeswoman from the AA, "there is no way they should be allowed to get away with these kind of actions whatever their age." A Conservative MP has asked the law be amended "to allow some way of locking these lunatics up".

Television pictures have already shown the full horror of what the criminal duo did over a prolonged period of time with their willingness to act in a crazy and hazardous manner.

But despite the clear evidence, Stephen Byers and his successor Alastair Darling, look to get off scot-free. Incredibly, both refused to sanction any significant expenditure on the motorway network, which lead to overcrowding and an increased risk of accidents. Road safety campaigners estimate that over 3,000 people have died due to a lack of repairs and upgrades.

However, legal experts have advised motorway police that there is no chance of a succesful court case against either Byers or Darling. One senior law officer told The Rockall Times: "In terms of the damage these people have done to the network it's just not right that they can't be held to account. It drives me mad. Mad enough to throw a couple of bricks off a road bridge, I can tell you that."