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England hooligans in Spanish rampage shame

David Beckham's plea for an end to the violent and thuggish behaviour which threatens the England squad's chances of qualifying for Euro 2004 seems to have fallen of deaf ears.

Sadly, argy-bargy between rival supporters at England home fixtures appears to be the least of coach Sven Goran Eriksson's worries. Indeed, a recent incident inside the team's temporary Spanish HQ indicates that the Burberry Brigade have infiltrated to the very heart of the beautiful game.

Two men — both with "previous" according to the British police — set about a pool hall and several members of staff working within the complex in the south of Spain. Witnesses reported seeing the known troublemakers smash up the room before staggering away for a long session downing lethal pints of "Bestie" — gin, bitter and Lucozade.

The police confirmed that the pair are part of a travelling "firm" of persistent offenders: "These two have a long history of violence and antisocial behaviour. They seem to turn up wherever and whenever England are playing," commented one undercover officer sporting a trademark Burberry cap and strappy sandals. "We've pleaded with the authorities to confiscate their passports but the courts are powerless to act."

The England team were supposed to have been enjoying a little quiet R&R ahead of their crucial friendly game against The Republics Formerly Known As Parts Of Yugoslavia at Leicester City's striking new CrispDome. However the oasis of torpor was rudely awakened and a-shakened by the two men who apparently insinuated their way into the luxury bolt-hole by turning up at the gate bearing England blazers and sports bags.

We asked one heavily-tattooed supporter drinking vodka and Red Bull at nearby "Miguel's Tapas and Crack Bar" if he could identify the hooligans from blurred CCTV stills retrieved from the wreckage. "Oh yeah, that's Rio Ferdinand and John Terry, innit." he cackled in affirmation. "Top faces on me manor, hard as fuc*kin' nails. Hey pal, you ain't fuc*kin' Cardiff are yer, yer cun*t?" he concluded before chasing our reporter from the establishment waving a bistro-style metal table and four chairs above his head.

Team coach Sven Goran Eriksson later refused to comment on the matter, but offered: "That blonde girl behind the bar. The one with the big tits. Is she Swedish do you think?"

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