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Blair and Brown reconciled on internet

It's the stuff of fairytales. A lonely world ruler and visionary finds that his childhood sweetheart has been living next door to him for the last seven years, yet they never met.

That is until late one night, when Tony decided to go looking for love as MPs are wont to do. But instead of Clapham Common, the man-god tried Friends Reunited and came across the entry that his old dear friend Gaudy had posted.

"You could have knocked me darn wiv a fevver," said a wide-eyed Tony. "I hadn't seen Gaudy for years, ever since we had that tiff. I can't even remember what it was about now, leadership or something. We haven't spoken since, which is just crazy."

"It was like a bolt from the blue," said Gaudy, continuing the story, his hand clasped in Tony's. "I got an email from this guy who said we'd been big mates all those years ago, and I didn't remember him at first. Then he said something about how we'd agreed that I could have a turn as prime minister after him, and it all came flooding back. And to find out that only a brick wall had separated us for all these years."

The pair have vowed never to be separated again, with Tony even reconsidering his planned move to a new job in Europe. Instead they may end up going into partnership.

Since the tearful reconciliation, a source close physically but not emotionally to the pair told us, they have never stopped whispering sweet nothings to one another. Blair has even made his fingers bleed practising their favourite song, Tell Me Lies by Fleetwood Mac, on his old guitar.

Neil Gudgeon Shite, speaking for the Tory Party, wiped away a tear as he wished the couple well. "I just wish I could find a friend as true," he said. "Or even just a coherent policy in the meantime."

Meanwhile, deputy pugilist John Prescott, spotted on his way to buy a bridesmaid's dress, confirmed how strong the friendship now is. "Bloody Cinderella," he told us. "A bunch of fives and sodding liturgical entropy's what they. Thoroughgoing fastidiously, and then some."

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