Fellas: Is your betrothed nothing more than a two-buck prossie?
This is the question torturing distraught loner as he reflects on the cost of true love love
by Alex Prior
Distraught Alan Mayfield, 33, was last night forced to admit that his new girlfriend, Daniella Sky, may well be a prostitute.
Concerned friends had it out with besotted Alan after he suggested spending his savings on an engagement ring for the curvy Daniella. After some fierce argument, Alan was sadly forced to admit the possibility that his wife-to-be may in fact be a hole-for-hire.
Said Alan: "We met at a bar in the West End. I bought her a couple of drinks and she said she'd like to come back with me to my apartment. So she did and we, you know, got it on. But soon after she went a bit funny and said she had to leave and could I help her out with the taxi fare. I offered her £20, but she said she needed £200. I figured maybe she lived in Brighton, so I handed over the cash. Before she went though she kissed me and gave me her mobile number and asked me to call her again."
Mr Mayfield, a computer programmer, was besotted. "She was really pretty, much prettier than girls that usually show any interest in me and the sex was great. Anyhow, I decided to play it cool and left it a couple of days before calling her. She seemed pleased to hear from me, and agreed to drop by my apartment that evening. Well, no sooner was she in the door than she pounced on me and we spent a frenzied hour embroiled in our passions before she had to go. She said she had a previous engagement. I offered to pay her cab fare again, and she accepted another £150."
Mr Mayfield's friends claimed they tried to press their concerns on Alan but he was too caught up in planning his future life with Daniella. Eventually they persuaded him that handing over large sums of money after sex — for whatever reason — was usually discouraged by women. Normally, you hand it over at the end of a meal or while out shopping.
"I can see their point," says Alan. "But when I pointed out I hadn't yet been out for a meal or shopping with Daniella so I couldn't be sure of anything, they just laughed at me."
Alan eventually relented and called Daniella to ask her out on a proper date. He was at first bolstered when she told him "anything you like darlin', a show, a meal, whatever". However, he was puzzled when she told him she had to go as she'd spotted a punter looking for business. "I don't understand it," said Alan. "She'd just told me she was strolling through Mayfair. It doesn't sound to me like that's what a secretary would say in those circumstances. Maybe she is a whore after all."
Alan confirmed that if Daniella was a prostitute he would stop seeing her. "I don't know what to do now," he told us. "I'd worked out that at the rate of £150 a time, three times a week, I could have gone out with her until September — when I'd have to move back to my parents'. I'd have done it for her too. I loved her."