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MI6 dossier 'complete fiction' says government

The disclosure by ministers that a dossier relating to the War for Oilfield Liberation™ was entirely fabricated has rocked the British status quo to its very bit in the middle with pips.

Bob-a-job minister John Reid — JR to his friends — sensational revealed that Cabinet had been completely misled by the security services, who provided most of the information contained in the document.

The report follows a rigorous, internal, Whitehall, civil service investigation led by Alistair Campbell and codenamed Buck Pass, sparked by the delayed discovery of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

As part of the stringently truth-seeking administrative procedure, Mr Reid vowed to leave no stone uncovered in his bid to prove that Tony Blair sees all, knows all and we should all put our trust in him, amen.

"Tony had no idea that this was happening," Reid persuasively expounded. "He's far too much of a regular guy to allow this and it was just a pack of lies invented by bad scriptwriters from Spooks."

However, in a stunning turnaround, Radio 4's Today programme this morning revealed that fifteen sources within the security services (although they only spoke to one) have gone off-record to say that Reid's own dossier has been "sexed up".

In a cunning double bluff, it seems Reid's report was based on only one source and the rest of it downloaded from www.conspiracytheory.com/iraq. It now appears the denizens of Vauxhall Cross had originally merely passed on all the facts they knew regarding chemicals in Iraq and no more.

Reid angrily dismissed such claims however, telling John Humphries: "I told you last time that this is nothing but a small group of disgruntled security service employees seeking to gain some form of revenge. The same is true this time.

"How convenient it is that every time I say something that you suddenly find other people who will provide you with evidence that says otherwise. Who are these faceless people? If they are telling the truth let them come out into the open where we can slam them with the Official Secrets Act and keep them in jail for the rest of their lives."

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