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Those £5 poll results in full

Well, the results are in on our "Given the choice, what would you rather spend £5 on?" poll and we are pleased to announce that "executive relief from a Thai ladyboy" was the overall winner with 232 votes.

In fact, Thai ladyboy was in second place right up til the last day when there was a sudden flurry of voting from, er, one source. Rather unfortunately for those concerned, we are not only up on technical know-how but we are also, in real life, reporters.

With that in mind we are pondering whether they would like their name plastered on the site pointing out the fact that they voted 112 times in favour of having a handjob from a lady with a dick.

Speaking of fixing polls, we were delighted to find that despite our urge to wangle it so that "12 months of The Rockall Times" won, you the lovely voters actually voted enormously in our favour — 128 votes in fact.

We are very touched. Although the other options given were such that it could only be viewed as a fair election if introduced in Zimbabwe.

Which brings us to the main point of the poll: charging for the enormous amount of unpaid work that we and the contributors put into creating this satirical marvel every week.

It is a huge amount of effort and has been for nearly two years. Weekends have never been the same. However, you will no doubt be relieved to hear that we have no plans to charge for the site at all. It is free, gratis, and will remain so.

What we do want though is for you to support our T-shirts to buy and wheat-based seagull-flavour crunchy snacks to purchase. Or you can donate right here. Please get to it:

Incidentally, SunnyD got 37 votes, latte frappuchinos 33, Peter Mandelson 9, and Big Brother text votes just 4. There is a God after all.

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