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Trawl Rockall for:

'I would go naked, like, 24-7 if I could!'

The whole world has been waiting for international minx Tara Michelle Jolie Hewitt to bare all and we are delighted this week to give our readers an exclusive peek at a recent interview with the highly-talented actress which will appear in the August edition of our sister publication Rockall Times Babefest — an eclectic mix of men's health tips, boys' toys and softcore pornography.

Yes indeed, we have scooped every media outlet in the world to bring you these tantalising titbits of titillating tease from Tara, America's hottest up-and-coming blonde actress — recently voted by FHM readers as "The woman whose picture I'm most likely to squirt my load over this evening!"

You can see Tara in action when she stars in three forthcoming films: Generic teen horror thriller in which I get my tits out and get killed, Generic teen gross-out comedy in which I get my tits out and get puked on and Low-budget indie drama with a respected director in which I get my tits out to demonstrate my seriousness and versatility. All three will be absolutely fantastic.

Our exclusive interview shows an ambitious young blonde woman entirely at ease with herself, her body and her sexuality. You go girl!

Rockall Times: So you've had your picture taken for RT Babefest in your white Marks & Spencer underwear. It seems a good time to ask: do you have any inhibitions about taking your clothes off?

Tara Michelle Jolie Hewitt: Oh my God no! Absolutely not. In fact I love being naked. I would go naked like 24-7 if I could. When I'm at home in my apartment on the beach in Malibu, I'm naked as often as possible. I just wander round the house naked or sit out by the pool naked. I love being naked. Naked naked naked.

RT: You sound like our kind of girl, love. Presumably you didn't have any concerns about appearing topless in your films then?

TMJH: Oh my God no! I'm not one of those actresses who like drones on about how it has to be integral to the plot, that kind of thing. I'm happy to whip 'em out for anyone and anything! I'm like totally comfortable with my body. I love seeing my tits on the big screen, blown up to 20 times their real size. Well, I say "real" size... But it just happens that in these movies I have coming out, it was integral to the plot. To the title, in fact.

RT: You ought to make more movies like that then, darlin'. So, are you enjoying your time in Britain?

TMJH: I'm totally loving it here! It's great how you guys are all so polite, and everyone speaks English, and they're all so totally willing to help you out and be nice to you. Well, everyone who works in my hotel is anyway. I haven't been out to any bars or anything. But British people are so nice! Their accents are so cute! I love them!

RT: We'd be willing to return a bit of that love, sweetheart. Who is your ideal man?

TMJH: Well, everyone expects me to say the name of some young Hollywood actor here, as they're, you know, like famous and good-looking and buff and rich. But that's not what I want at all! Really, my ideal man is just a sweet guy with a great sense of humour. In fact — do you want to hear a secret? My ideal guy is a slightly overweight British guy. Someone who lives in suburbia, uses a tub of gel in his hair every day and owns 30 checked Ben Sherman shirts. Oooh! My idea of heaven! [Note to sub-editor: change this as appropriate for overseas editions]

RT: Stick around here a while and you could get some first-hand experience of that, babe. So where do you see your career going from here?

TMJH: Oh, I don't think too much about the future to be honest. I just live day to day! Just trying to spend as much time naked as possible! Naked! But if my Hollywood career didn't turn out the way I dreamed it would, I could definitely make a living in porn movies. I'd love to try that. I love porn! I watch as much as I can! Usually naked! I'm always watching porn naked! Usually with other naked girls around! I'll try anything! I'd love to be in porn movies. Love to. Naked!

RT: That sounds like a fantastic idea to me. I'd love to see you on your hands and knees being shafted senseless by a sweaty lothario, you horny minx. You know, it's a pity there's no chance your publicist would let me say any of this suggestive stuff to you — but if I add it to the article later, the readers will think I'm pretty smooth. Heh. Still, you seem to be coming up with ludicrously lurid and titillating stuff in response to my anodyne questions. I'm sure all this sexy talk isn't a calculated attempt to get you more publicity. I bet you really do watch porn naked the whole time and masturbate thinking about over-gelled British men, you little saucepot. So what film projects do you have coming up?

You can read the rest of this interview in the August issue of RT Babefest magazine, £3.99 from the top-but-one shelf of all good newsagents.

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