Muddled Blair bores pub regulars

"Ah, yes, I remember well," says Blair. "We had convincing evidence for weapons of mass destruction. Oh no, I tell a lie. We had unconvincing evidence. Anyway, as I was saying..."

Patrons of Westminster watering hole The White Lion were yesterday said to in a state of tedium after pub regular Tony Blair found himself unable to call to mind the precise details while telling a rambling anecdote on the subject of the invasion of Iraq.

"You see," he explained to uninterested locals, "back then we were all very concerned that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction which he could mobilise in forty-five minutes. Or maybe it was forty-five days. Or maybe he didn't have any at all, but the point is, now let me see, what was my point..."

Despite continually asking an embarrassed friend, Mr Campbell, to fill him in with the facts, Mr Blair was said to be unable on any occasion during his 15-minute trip down memory lane to the days during and immediately after the war to remember exact names, places, or justifications.

"Come on Alistair," he exhorted repeatedly, to his friend's obvious discomfort and attempts to change the subject. "Surely you remember. Now where did we put that dossier?"

This morning, even Tony's genial Texan co-worker George Bush seemed unwilling to defend his friend's actions.

"Tony's a great guy," he said. "But when he's had one or two even his best friends will admit that he has a tendency to bang on a bit about frankly tiresome details of international law and basic human rights. Usually, I just try to change the subject by telling that hilarious one about the Kurdishman, the Sunni and the Shi'a."