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Net community stunned at porn-hunt revelations

The future of the World Wide Web was thrown into doubt yesterday, as reports emerged of a man using the Internet to search for pornographic images.

The revelation has shocked the Internet's founding fathers Bob Kahn and Vinto Clef to their very DNS servers. They point out a joint press release saying that such action was a "serious breach of trust".

"Of course we always knew that it would be possible to indulge in this sort of behaviour on the Internet," said co-inventor Kahn, "but we just hoped people would do the right thing and behave responsibly. Now that this incident has occurred we need to re-think our policy."

Fellow propeller-head Clef was equally outraged: "The Internet provides the perfect medium for distributing and reviewing academic texts. Is that not enough for these sickos?"

The man at the centre of the controversy has held up his, mysteriously blistered, hands over the whole sordid episode. Speaking with the embarrassed air that only a man who has had his personal habits subject to intense scrutiny by the world's media can muster, Dave Roberts of London offered a full and frank apology.

"I was looking for a visual aid for you-know and it just occurred to me that there might be something on the Internet I could use," admitted the red-faced Roberts. "I've not been feeling myself lately and I thought it might help. I am so very sorry."

Unfortunately it appears that Robert's apology is too little to late and Bob and Vinto are threatening to remove the whole Internet as a lesson to us all.

"Certainly it is true that the internet was originally conceived as a centreless network that could never be brought down even in the event of a nuclear attack," explained Vinto. "But we always thought it would be prudent to have a backdoor mechanism in case things got out of hand. In this case it's Bob's Acorn electron, which he keeps in his shed."

While Bob and Vinto have claimed that enough is enough and they're about to turn the whole thing off, delegates from across the world and hoping to persuade them in a mee...

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