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We have returned: Official

On the momentous occasion of The Rockall Times' re-emergence onto the international web satire scene, we'd like to endorse the sentiments once expressed by top kiddies' performer Gary Glitter: "Hello, hello, it's good to be back, good to be back. Goodness gracious!"

Unlike Glitter, our enforced absence has been due not to a prison term for paedophilia, but the rather more prosaic matter of creating an all-singing, all-dancing Content Management System.

Well, the new CMS is not quite ready for its West-End debut, but has been warbling its way through rehearsals quite nicely.

Which is why we are able to bring you this issue of The Rockall Times as promised, albeit in a slightly reduced form to that normally gracing your desktop on a Monday morning. Suffice it to say, we will be fully back up to speed over the next few weeks as we delicately extract the bugs from the servers with fine tweezers.

Accordingly, we advise all publicity-seeking, self-serving, half-witted politicos, b-list celebrities, roving rock pundits and, indeed, pretty well anybody at all silly enough to stick their inflated head above the media parapet to batten down the hatches coz it's going to be a bumpy ride.

Our usual content aside, there will be more on our CMS next week. Not that you lot give a tinker's cuss as long as you get you weekly fix of Rockallmania, eh?

And while we're on the subject of our beloved readers, we'd like to thank all those of you who wrote over the last few months offering to pay a subscription for news from the world's remotest islet. At present we are rejecting the subscription model. That's not to say we might not offer paid-for content in the future, but in the meantime the best way for you to offer your support is by purchasing one of our lovely t-shirts.

We've only a couple of designs up at the moment, but are expecting two provocative new lines within three weeks or so, and will continue to expand the range throughout the year to include further shirts, mugs and other exciting merchandising initiatives. That's how we intend to pay our keep here at The Rockall Times — so if you think it's important for us to keep delivering top-notch content, you know what to do.

In the meantime, the editorial team and tireless contributors welcome you back to the looks-exactly-the-bloody-same-to-me-what's-all-this-crap-about-a-cms? Rockall Times. Enjoy.

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