Spanish elections give Kerry 'something to think about'

The result of last Sunday’s Spanish general election resonated throughout the western world, and nowhere was this resonance louder than at the campaign headquarters of John Kerry, the Democratic Party’s candidate for the presidency of the United States.

The poll, which came just three days after the Madrid train bombings that killed 200, saw a surprise victory for the Socialists over the ruling People’s party and installed José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero as the new prime minister. Senator Kerry followed the election very closely and is said to have been intrigued by the result.

"That’s certainly given me something to think about," Kerry is quoted as saying. "The capital is bombed three days before the election. The bombers are linked to the war on terror. Then, in the election, the people vote for a candidate far more left-wing than the incumbent. A candidate who is broadly anti-war and is highly critical of the previous government’s involvement in Iraq — and whose first name starts with a J. Hmmm."

On the evening of the following day, Kerry reportedly questioned his senior staff about the exact details of the Madrid tragedy.

"How many people died in the bombings? Only 200?" he allegedly said. "I mean, wow, 200. That’s a lot."

When asked if Senator Kerry was considering any innovative or even radical campaigning techniques, senior aide Randall Peltzer was noncommittal.

"He's certainly considering all the options," Peltzer said. "Certain new information has come to light over the past few days which has made us rethink a few things. But if you’ll excuse me, I really can’t discuss this now. The senator has asked me to find him a Kabul phone book."