Concern grows over state of Beckham marriage
Palpable disappointment with royal couple
by Juan Sebastian Gaucho
Disquiet is being openly expressed about the behaviour of England captain David Beckham following the reports of his affairs with a glamorous former employee and a barrister's nubile, text-happy daughter.
Despite copper-bottomed evidence surfacing that Beckham and the ex-PA not only copped a feel of each other's tits in the back of his limo but later got jiggy with it back at his luxurious bachelor apartment in Madrid, it now appears that he may remain linked with lithe and highly-talented Victoria "Adams Family" Adams. Supporters of the most articulate man to play the beautiful game since Ian Rush had expected him to start divvying up the assets with the caterwauling one pronto. Now the feeling of disappointment is palpable.
Pictures of Tosh and Pecs happily munching Toblerone on holiday together in Switzerland have fuelled fears that the expected divorce may not materialise.
"This is a disaster," moaned one fan in London when told that a reconciliation between the midfield workhouse and the modelling carthorse was still a possibility. "I can't believe that David would betray us by sticking around with Sticky."
The head of his Spanish fan club was equally scathing: "Thees ess uno diastro. I no tink Daveed will betray us by steeking around weez Steeeky," he moaned while lighting a candle in a Madrid shrine dedicated to Rebecca Loos.
There was more hopeful news late yesterday however, when it was revealed that a meeting set up by marriage organisation Relate for the celebrated couple had had to be postponed to allow Posh Spice to fly to the Solomon Islands where her latest release has unexpectedly broken into the Top 100.
Later, in an interview with Gay News, Beckham vigorously rejected the accusation that his new-found "feet of clay" were undermining his image. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard", he explained. "Both my feet are made up of skin and flesh and stuff like that. Oh and a couple of metatarsal bones. How could I play football if my feet were made of clay? How dumb is that?"