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Terror suspects released after misunderstanding

The 10 suspects arrested in an anti-terrorism swoop in the north-west of England in April have now been released after the police admitted that their capture was result of a misunderstanding.

Reports suggested that the nine men and one woman had links to the terrorist organisation al-Qaeda and were planning to blow up Manchester United’s Old Trafford stadium during a match after detectives seized 600kg of ammonium nitrate fertiliser, which is frequently used to make explosives.

“These reports were only partly correct,” said Greater Manchester Assistant Chief Constable David Whatton. “We did indeed find a large quantity of ammonium nitrate, and the suspects were indeed planning to use it during a match at Old Trafford. However, it is not true that they are connected to al-Qaeda. It turns out that they just really hate Man United. There’s no law against that. In fact, we positively encourage it.”

Whatton expressed surprise that those detained, who are of North African and Iraqi Kurd origin, are not fans of the successful club.

“They’re from sufficiently distant lands to be United fans,” he said. “Usually when people visit from thousands of miles away, they’re decked out in the latest replica strip and scarves and all the rest of it. But these guys obviously had a better understanding of English football. We gave them a pat on their back and sent them on their way.

“More power to them,” Whatton added.

Those detained cannot be named for legal reasons but one has released a statement through his lawyer.

“The Great Satan shall be brought to his knees,” it read. “His terrible power will hold sway no longer. We shall pulverize his ugly red face with our righteous fists. Glorious shall be our triumph over the forces of darkness. And City are staying up too.”

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