Abi Titmuss: I want to bed Britney and Osama bin Laden

SAUCY Abi Titmuss says she fancies an orgy with Robbie Williams, Britney Spears AND Osama bin Laden.

The 27-year-old porn TV presenter and one-time sex slave of Devil-worshipping John Leslie admits she has already taken part in several sexy threesomes, and fantasises about riding bin Laden's throbbing AXIS OF EVIL.

The shy and retiring former nurse opened her heart to 18 newspapers last week after one tabloid published photographs of the demure beauty on a Barbados beach pleasuring herself in a private moment unaware that she was being watched by the 13th annual conference of the International Federation of Paparazzi from a nearby hotel.

Titmuss — who apparently lost most of her clothes shortly before in some terrible accident — was said to feel "violated" by the photographic intrusion as thousands of baying snappers thundered down the beach in search of the lucrative "come shot".

The famously private Titmuss did, however, later admit to a gentlemen's publication that she enjoys being watched — and keeps a stash of home videos of herself having sex. In an interview to accompany a 16-page nude spread in Men's Maximum Health, the busty blonde coyly described her dream orgy as "a heaving cockfest with a bit of girl-on-girl".

She further explained that: "although kissing girls is nice, what with there being no stubble", that she is most certainly "a man's girl", but that she'd "lick out Britney if that's what Osama wanted".

When The Rockall Times attempted to contact Titmuss yesterday, her angry PR representative told us: "Can't you people leave the poor girl alone? Hasn't she been through enough already without being pursued by the press? For fuc*k's sake — she can't even get her kit off on a public beach in broad daylight without it appearing the next day splashed across the tabloids. You people disgust me."

Next week

"The night I put on my nurse's uniform for pouting, wheelchair-bound Leslie Ash!" a blushing Titmuss reveals to The Rockall Times in an exclusive topless poolside exposé.