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Telcos limber up for emergency number free-for-all

The sounds of advertising budgets being stretched are resonating through the UK as the Government announces its latest phone number free-for-all.

From 1 October 2004, the 999 emergency number will be privatised, allowing companies to compete for the public's plaintive cries. This follows on from the privatisation of directory enquiries which took place earlier this year and has lead to a plethora of companies offering a directory service — many of which have proved at least half as good as the old BT service.

Under the new scheme all emergency numbers will start with 01999, with companies then being free to suffix their own set of digits. Competition for easily-remembered numbers has been fierce and once again "The Number 118 118" has snaffled the coveted "01999 01999" number. History has also repeated itself in the form of BT ending up with a rather crappy number in the form of "01999 999 7562 1999 1" — not perhaps the easiest set of numerals to dial in a blind panic.

"The Number 118 118" is expected to emerge as a front runner for the new service. The company managed to become the top directory enquiry provider by the simple expedient of spending more on its advertising than it could possibly ever hope to recoup.

It hasn't all been plain sailing however as their adverts featuring two handlebar-tash-and-mullet sporting saddos have lead to legal cases from a number of sporting heroes including David Seaman and David Bedford. The company also ran foul of watchdogs with its policy of deliberately stringing calls out in order to maximise profits. Director of communication, William Ostrom, has promised that his staff will not be trying this scam out desperate emergency number callers "unless it's a really tight month, budget wise".

The Government brushed aside any criticism of the new longer numbers when Home Secretary David Blunkett demonstrated he could dial several of the numbers with his eyes shut. In addition Government sources have pointed out that the longer numbers allow for calls to be more easily targeted to the correct service and provided the following table to demonstrate how the system might work:

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