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Engineering firm celebrates Diana Fountain triumph

Top engineering firm Arup believes it has finally lain to rest the ghost of failure past. The firm suffered a great amount of public ridicule after it designed the now infamous “Wobbly Millennium Bridge”. Showing great spirit, the company manage to rebound from this public relations disaster and played an important role in the construction of the Diana Fountain.

Since it was opened, somewhat grudgingly, by the Queen three weeks ago the fountain has remained open for days at a time. Remarkably it as only completely packed in twice and has yet to injure enough people to reach double figures. There is only its currently indefinite closure to throw a slight fly into the ointment.

A spokesman for Arup told The Rockall TImes of his company’s satisfaction with the new project. “Obviously we had some hard lessons with the Millennium Bridge but we have moved forward and it’s safe to say that the new fountain has not wobbled once."

“Obviously there have been a few teething problems with the pumping water side of things and a few accidents but at no point has the fountain moved alarmingly from side to side. One person did actually report some swaying but this turned out merely to be caused by the individual in question sustaining a severe blow to the head when he slipped on the fountain," explained the spokesman. He was however quick to assure us that “this problem has now been eliminated by placing prominent ‘Strictly no Slipping" signs on the memorial.

Designed by Kathryn Gustafson and thrown together for a knockdown £3m pounds, the fountain is designed to represent the spirit of Princess Diana. At first we thought this was because it is an essentially useless but decorative object. However, wading through the promotional literature reveals that the flow of the water through the different areas of the fountain reflects Diana’s journey through life. Thus the water begins in a bright and bubbly fashion before heading into choppy waters. It then thins out a lot and bounces down a flight of steps before diverting briefly through the nearby Life Guard army barracks. The water then gathers speed on the final stretch before ending abruptly at a concrete pillar.

Previously

• Lady Di memorial moat floats fans' boat
• Mayor cuts ribbon on Lady Di memorial underpass

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