Faria: Sven shagged me until my buttocks bounced like footballs kicked by Pelé

The sultry beauty at the centre of the FA sex scandal which has rocked British football to the very core of the replica kit market on which it stands has exclusively revealed her nights of passion with Swedish love machine Sven Goran Eriksson.

Dusky Faria Alam, 38 - not pictured left because once we got the pics back from the chemists we decided that, although the tits were good, she's no Ulrika Jonsson - breathlessly recounted to our shocked reporter that she indulged in inter-racial RUMPY-PUMPY with the ageing lothario during which:

• Their eyes met over the table at an FA power lunch.
• They shared a cab home during and tore each others clothes off on the front porch of Eriksson's £86m mansion.
• The lust-fuelled couple explored each others' bodies for what seemed like an age.
• Sven took the buxom STRUMPET from BEHIND on the STAIRS on the stairs of his luxury pad in a doggy-style ORGY of frenzied LUST.
• Alam wowed Eriksson with her "Deep Throat" technique as the two-timing herring scoffer talked to other half Nancy Dell'Olio, insisting: "No, I am not fuc*king that 'little tart' from the FA. She's just sucking my piece. And she swallows, which is more than you ever did, you bloody Italian nutter."

Alam went on to recount that Eriksson insisted that his relationship with Dell'Olio was "over" and that they had not had sex for a "year" and that she was "prone" to violent "outbursts" of plate-throwing.

"Sven once broke off from a sixteen-hour bout of pleasuring me orally during which I orgasmed 53 times to say that Nancy was always chucking crockery about in fits of rage," admitted Alam. "The attacks normally came just after tabloid revelations that Sven had been giving a length to some Swedish hussy or other. I mean, you just don't need that kind of additional pressure when your face is spread all over the News of the World, do you?"

Alam's affair with Eriksson first began after England's World Cup crash-and-burn against Brazil. "Sven was depressed and suffering from erectile problems," Alam recounts, "so I offered my famous therapeutic 'Deep Throat' technique — sort of like an orally-administered magic sponge. That certainly did the trick."

Alam sensationally revealed that she had perfected her mind-blowing "Deep Throat" technique on disgraced former FA chief executive Mark Palios, although the square-jawed 51-year-old failed to measure up to Eriksson in the bed department. "Our eyes met over a gala dinner at the Mansion House," said Alam. "Afterwards he walked me home and no sooner were we through the front door than we began to rip each others' clothes off. He has a great body — it's clear that he worked out a lot. Then we explored each others' bodies for what seemed like seconds before Palios thrust his manhood into the box, shot his load, put on his trousers and left."

Asked if she felt totally satisfied as a woman after the brief encounter, Alam lamented: "No." When pressed as to whether she had enjoyed multiple orgasms as a result of the dangerous liaison, Alam fumed: "Certainly not. I had to finger myself to a shattering climax after Mark had left. I felt used — like a slab of meat."

Alam ditched Palios shortly after to begin her illicit affair with Eriksson, but not before giving the love flop a little going-away present: "I favoured him with my favourite 'Deep Throat' technique. I always amaze my girlfriends at parties by demonstrating with a twelve-inch candle. Not that you'd need that kind of training to accomodate Mark."

The minx then offered to give our reporter "a little taster of my internationally-reknowned 'Deep Throat' technique". When he politely declined, Alam shrugged: "Fair enough. Can I have my cheque now please?"

Next week

Faria: I bedded Abi Titmuss and John Leslie during wild, cocaine-fuelled video orgy at FA pensioners' lunch.

Previously

• Playing the Field — an Introduction
• Sven's lover in forgiving mood
• Swedish pair in sexual intimacy shocker