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  Monday 16th August 2004  Politics   Powered by Yeast Logic
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George Galloway demands rispek

Vote for the East Galloway Massive — or else
by John Murphy

George Galloway — the former Labour MP and ex-cabinet minister for Saddam Hussein — has called for his newly-formed party Rispek to be given more respect after it gained absolutely no seats whatsoever in the recent European elections.

George (no relation to Bush) commented to The Rockall Times: "Us bad boyz now run the streets and you better wise up or you'll get caps popped in your muthafuc*kin' asses." Galloway later insisted that he would soon "run the joint" — inferring that he will get a majority of seats at the next general election. One of George's "homeys" had some harsh words for Messers Bush and Blair: "I got my man George heres back. You better watch your punk-asses or me and me home-boys will pull a drive-by on them." Another Rispek spokesman added: "Innit".

Saddam gets chatty with one of his homeys

However, the homo secretary Mr David Blindgit has warned in the past that Rispek party members are all under suspicion of being members of the terror cell al-Ikea.

The full name of Rispek is apparently Rispek Equality Socialism Peace Environment Community Trade Unionism however it also goes under the name Rispek: The Unity Coalition (George Galloway) and also under the name East Galloway Massive.

"I think that they’re just a flash in the pan fringe party with no hope of getting seats in the next election," commented a visibly-orange Bob Kilroy from within the cavernous interior of his tanning bed, "and in a years times everyone will have forgotten about them." Kilory then added: "But that only my opinion this nice old lady over here has a different story to tell, don't you Doreen?"

Galloway brushed aside rumours of an electoral pact with the Greens, saying: "We only waned to bun some of their zutes innit. Those eighths were hench."

The Rockall Times questioned Galloway on his previous comment that everyone on last year's anti-war marches were card-carrying members of Rispek despite the party having not yet been formed but he and his "crew" apparently had to "split" because the "feds" were on the way.

Previously

 Go on then, hard man