Porto face stiff penalty for spitting outrage

European champions Porto could be subject to severe sanctions following fans' behaviour at the recent match against Chelsea. The game, held at oil-rich Stamford Bridge, was the first meeting between Jose Mourinho's old club and his new one.

The departure of Mourinho from Porto had led to considerable controversy within Portugal with many supporters deeply unhappy with the manner of his leaving. Acrimony had bubbled up in the days before the game leading to the belief that there would a good deal of unpleasantness.

It was, therefore, a matter of serious concern for the authorities that last week's Champions League match saw only one Porto fan bothering to gob at the "Special One".

"We couldn't quite believe it when we heard," explained UEFA's director of bungs and brown envelopes. "When you think what an arrogant little shit Mourinho is we would have expected them to make a decent job of expectorating all over his clothes. If this isn't going to be the case then I think a decent-sized fine is in order."

Mourinho later thanked the fan for his generous donation of spittle, telling reporters that it was "a sign from God" before dismissing them with a wave of the axe wrapped in sticks which is his symbol of authority.

Previously

• Praise be to Mourinho as Chelsea top league
• Mourinho issues relocation decree
• Chelsea's Mourinho lays down the law