Spurs broker historic stadium deal

Hot on the heels of Arsenal’s £100m deal with Emirates — which will see the Gunners' new home named the "Flying Muslim Stadium" — London neighbours Tottenham Hotspur have concluded a similar agreement with a rival airline.

The agreement will see the new Spurs ground entitled "easyjet Lane" and includes a range of enhancements to the club’s profile in line with the two organisations' cultures.

“Just as Emirates will be boosted as a brand by the link with Arsenal so our sponsor will achieve a similar lift by their link to a team with a history such as ours,” spouted Spurs chairman Daniel Levy. In return for the naming of the stadium for 20 years and other tie-ins, the club will get “at least several hundred quid” and a “two free tickets to Estonia each year — providing the flights have not sold out with full-fare fare passengers, of course”.

Although some details of the deal remain to be hammered out, highlights include:

• The new Tottenham kit to be all orange with players' names all in lower case.
• Fans to fight for best seats in an unholy pre-match free-for-all.
• Restrictions on the amount and weight of food to be brought into the ground will restrict each spectator to one quarter-pounder burger.
• Teams will run out at the ground to strains of the inflight infomercial muzak.
• For every minute fans stay in the ground after a game has finished they will be charged an extra 50 pence.
• Spectators will have to tidy up the area around their seat before they leave, or incur cleaning charges.

Levy rejected accusations that the fact that the club doesn’t have a new stadium or even proper plans to build one in any way imperils the deal: “Not at all. We haven’t got a top-level team but that hasn’t stopped us playing in the Premiership has it?”

Previously

• The new Wembley stadium: Those seating plans in full
• Wimbledon fans vent fury at relocation plan
• Gunners will never lose game again ever, claims Wenger