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Clairvoyant channels John Peel's tribute fury

Recently-deceased DJ John Peel has spoken from beyond the grave to criticise tributes to himself, The Rockall Times can exclusively reveal. Madame Gabor, a practising medium, got in touch with us yesterday, claiming Peel wishes DJs across the land would play something other than The Undertones' Teenage Kicks as a tribute to his passing.

"Has my legacy taught them nothing?" Peel allegedly said via his Romany conduit this afternoon. "Everyone knows Teenage Kicks is my favourite single. Unfortunately, I've heard it 317 times since 2pm last Tuesday and — it pains me to say this — I'm beginning to go off it a bit. There are thousands of records you could play to pay me tribute — not that I entirely deserve all this, mind, it's all a bit embarrassing — from Beefheart to the White Stripes. Or the Fall. I really like the Fall."

While Madame Gabor rolled her eyes heavenwards, Peel continued: "It's nice to be recognised by my peers for discovering so many groundbreaking acts. Then what? I hear the opening chords to a song I never thought I'd find remotely tiresome for the umpteenth chuffing time. Show some imagination folks — take it from one who knows: It's what I would want. By the way, if you're thinking of playing that tune Kershaw, I shall haunt you, your children, and your children's children."

Radio 1 Associate Programmer Kenny Smarm retorted in a statement: "Teenage Kicks is an uplifting, poppy tune which not only serves as an homage to John, but fits in with our broader demographic. If we paid tribute to Mr Peel's wonderful eclecticism with The Limp Chickens or somesuch, research tells us 78 per cent of our ABC1 consumers would be turned off. Listener figures are our currency, and The Fall sound like a tramp having an argument with a vending machine, for Christ's sake."

Unsurprisingly, the world of politics has not been slow in eulogising Peel's legacy to popular culture. When asked whether Peel's championing of Progressive Rock, Belgian Techno, Grindcore, Gabba, Lithuanian speed garage and world music had influenced their formative musical tastes, every MP we quizzed replied "Er... yes, absolutely. Did I mention how much I like Teenage Kicks by the Buzzcocks?"

Previously

• Obituary: Terry Waite
• Obituary: Les Dennis
• Play Celebrity Coffinmatch!

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