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This is a pub-friendly version of this article — print it out and take it with you down the boozer. |
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The original is at http://www.therockalltimes.co.uk/2004/12/27/mobile-phone-threat.html.
Boffins pinpoint chilling DNA threat to mobile phones
Essential tool of modern life under threat
by O’Two
Human DNA can harm mobile phones, tests have shown.
DNA gives off some sort of ooze which cause the chips in phones to mutate in a way that cannot be easily stopped, a three-year study demonstrated.
The effect is worse if the phone is exposed to large amounts or human DNA — as if often the case with those possessing large ears or really big heads.
The ensuing chip mutation, which can lead to important text messages not getting through, appeared to be even more severe in video phones, the study showed. With investigations indicating that sales of 3G video phones are set to soar, the potential for more damage to the nation's mobiles is immense.
The researchers stressed that their findings did not prove conclusively DNA was a phone hazard but advised people in any doubt to get rid of their own personal genome by whatever means. "You can’t survive in this day and age without a mobile phone," opined one idiot.
Previously
From The Rockall Times Monday 27th December 2004
http://www.therockalltimes.co.uk/.