I’m at work. I’m bored. Make me laugh.

Trawl Rockall for:

Celebs rush to back Prince Andrew charity appeal

The chief executive of the Disasters Emergency Committee has thanked the British public for raising over £325,000 for Prince Andrew last year and expressed hope that their generosity would continue long into the future. Speaking at a press conference he told reporters: "I think it just goes to show that the ordinary people in this country can always be depended upon to help those more fortunate than themselves. However, even when the Prince is no longer in the headlines he will still need all the cash he can get, so please, dig deep."

The money was used to fund PoshMobility, the organisation which hires out vehicles to any Duke of York who needs help travelling between car parks, town centres and golf courses. Nigel Cloggs, the co-ordinator of the Windsor branch explained: "Most of us take for granted that if we want to travel somewhere we can get on a bus, train or commercial flight. But imagine if you just really couldn't be arsed to wait around like everyone else. That's the frightening reality which Prince Andrew is confronted with every day. Here at PoshMobility we try to give him a number of exotic transport options so as to bring a modicum of dignity to his otherwise empty, wretched, purposeless existence."

Mr Cloggs went on to explain that even small amounts of money could make all the difference. "A donation of just £50 is enough to fuel his helicopter for a few seconds, £3,000 will feed him for a lunchtime in Oxford and £11,000 will enable him to laugh and play with his friends after being whisked to St Andrews in an RAF jet."

A number of celebrities have added their weight to the campaign and a charity concert is planned for next month at the Millennium stadium. Other figures have revealed that they already support PoshMobility by offering their time to help maintain the fleet of aircraft. Celebrity Big Brother star Caprice told The Rockall Times: "It's a very worthy cause and I try to help out when I can: Prince Andrew is always so appreciative. You should have seen the smile on his face the first time I popped round and offered to service his chopper."

However, a spokesman for PoshMobility stressed the importance of making good on all pledges of support. The organisation is still waiting to hear back from Mark Thatcher, who last year offered them the use of a helicopter, but lost interest on hearing that it would only be used for humanitarian purposes.

Previously

• The Curse of the Windsors
• Man with six O-Levels makes bid for monarchy
• Queen Mum snuffs it

 Email an enemy  Pub-friendly printable version  ‘Society’ index page