Liverpool rocked by latest fitness blow

Liverpool Football Club's disastrous season of injuries seems likely to get even shoddier with the latest blow involving star shirker Harry Kewell.

Despite managing a recent crushing 1-0 cup victory over mighty Watford — who are currently flying high in the middle regions of the Championship — the Reds have stuttered throughout the season and find themselves eight points behind local rivals Everton who currently occupy the fourth, and last, Champions League spot.

Now, in what seems to be the worse news of all, the club doctors have reported that renowned wastrel Kewell is all set to return and be available for selection, well ahead of schedule.

"We do seem to be having a very hard time with injuries," admitted beleaguered boss Rafa Benitez at the team's training complex, "with important players such as Alonso and Cisse both out the last thing I want is to find Kewell wanting to be picked when I get into work". He added plaintively: "I was told at the beginning of January by our medical experts that he would out for another couple of months at least and based on that I was able to make plans."

Besides asking for a third, fourth, and fifth medical opinion Benitez is understood to have also decided to hide himself in his office stationary cupboard the next time Kewell drops by asking to be picked.

Previously

• Brave Houllier spells it out: 'I'm Going Nowhere'
• Liverpool voted coolest city on planet
• Why I will never leave the Liverpool I love