Nobodies fight back in domain name turf war

Spare a thought for David Google of Wakefield. He studied photography for three years at Wakefield's illustrious St. Clematis Comprehensive School, two years at Rumpole College of Further Education, four years at the Central University of Peebles in mid Wales, and then served as an assistant to a local wedding photographer for the last three years. Now, as he plans to finally reveal his online portfolio, he discovers his name has been bagged by cybersquatters. "You'd think with a name like Google no-one would have registered the domain name before now," a distraught Google told The Rockall Times. "I'd never heard of Google until I went to BigNobs.com to register me co.uk domain."

David Google is not alone. Derek Amazon, a divorced painter and decorator from Reading near Norfolk was aghast to learn that his name had also been registered, not only in the UK but in America, France, Holland, Germany, Japan, Bahrain, even Canada. "It's not on," said Amazon, clearly distressed at the patent unfairness of a system that operates on an exclusive first-come-first-served basis. "I'm the only Amazon in Britain, apart from my son Thierry, and I can't use my own name on my website."

But there is hope for the little man following an EU directive, introduced in January by second row forward Bergomo Sputati, the Italian Commissioner for Restrictive Trade Practices. His law, to be brought before the European Parliament in June, would outlaw the use of surnames by large international customers before EU citizens are given the chance to register the domain name in their own country.

Phil Lastminute from Harrow, a spokesman for the pressure group I Am A Somebody Too welcomes the move. "Big companies have had it good for too long. You complain and they simply throw a load of million dollar lawyers at you. In fact, I was nearly run over outside my house by one last Wednesday. A near miss, I can tell you." Lastminute started the pressure group after he realised that friends of his were suffering the same obstacles as he was when he tried to register his name for his online business selling surplus stationary to the home counties. "A friend of mine called Barry Egg was the first person to bring the problem to my attention, then my cousin Linda Kazaa was put off as well. Actually I tell a lie; she managed to use a .org domain and then got sued by Metallica. It was a nightmare."

In the past there have been examples of rightful owners successfully suing cybersquatters. The extraordinary British horror writer and health video promoter Jeanette Winterson reclaimed her domain name from a Polish businessman who had registered the surnames of three million European writers and actors, including wenger.fr, klum.de and bobwillis.co.uk (the latter was revealed in court to be an error). But what of the little man, the nobody. As Phil Lastminute would say: the minnows. "Who is there to help the Googles, and Amazons of this world, the Eggs, Rottentomatoes and Wanadoos?"

Who indeed? Before going to press, The Rockall Times checked the NameBot registrar to see if there were any Rockalltimes in Britain and discovered three, all living in Humberside and all unavailable for comment as they were also in the process of considering litigation.

Previously

• Police intervene after Web page lies dormant 'for weeks'
• The Rockall product test: The Internet
• Amazon CEO apologises over profit shock