'Italian Hostage Turkeyshoot' wows X-Box fans

The recently-released 'Italian Hostage Turkeyshoot' for the X-Box has proved a big hit with gamers across the US eager to get hands-on in the War on terror™ The nail-biting shoot-'em-up allows multiple players to fill a convoy of vehicles with canned heat, winning extra points for hitting Italians, and in particular journalists and secret service agents. The makers are currently working on an Italian-language version which will permit online gamers to congregate in huge numbers and hurl abuse at Dubya Bush.

Britain's Davis Cup team last week swept aside world tennis superpower Israel in an impressive display of grit and determination which will allay fears that the absence of fighting "Tiger" Tim Henman might have irreparably damaged our chances of sporting glory on the court. An imperious Greg Rusedski swept aside feared world number 153 Noam Okun yesterday to leave the overall result beyond dispute. Speaking en route to his holiday home near Vancouver, Rusedski told The Rockall Times: "I've never played better. Bring on the Democratic Republic of Congo."