Sinn Fein plans fundraising musical comedy

Sinn Fein is planning an international tour of a new musical comedy, we can exclusively reveal. The party hopes that the blockbuster stage adaptation of the Irish Republican struggle — tentatively entitled Provo! — will go some way in plugging the fiscal gap left by the collapse of popular US support for the organisation.

Sinn Fein supremo Gerry Adams, said to be "defiant" despite a string of very public snubs which culminated last week in the noted baritone's own mother refusing to speak to him and further withdrawing the offer to lend Adams a tenner "for the cause", will reportedly take the role of ill-fated 1916 Easter uprising leader James Connolly. Audiences can also expect a tapdancing Martin McGuinness to reprise his celebrated interpretation of Sir Roger David Casement — singing his way to the gallows surrounded by a lamenting chorus of sobbing Irish widows and tearful native rentboys.

However, Adams' plans for theatrical glory suffered a major setback last week when a special effects mishap during rehearsals for the show's explosive climax — a full-blown reconstruction of the 1974 Guildford pub bombing — reduced the Doha Players theatre in Qatar to rubble.

We rang Sinn Fein's offices last night to get Mr Adam's dulcite reaction to the blast, but were told: "Sorry, he's in a meeting with Cameron Mackintosh. While you're on the line, have you ever considered making a small donation to the cause? All major credit cards accepted..."

Previously

• Adams apologises for Provo outrage
• Sinn Fein fingered in IKEA riot bloodbath
• IRA crime claims derail peace process