Disenfranchised teens eschew the knife

One third of girls drop out of enhanced mainstream society

by Zoltan Ball

A shocking new probe into the minds of Britain's teenage girls has revealed that almost a third of them have no intention of getting any cosmetic surgery done, no matter how God-awful they look.

The research — carried out by The Rockall Times' sister publication Highland Cattle Monthly — shows that nearly 32 per cent of girls aged 13 to 18 don't see the need for liposuction, a nose job or vulval plumping whatever their best friends or well-meaning boys say about their appearance.

Despite many years of education — and being presented with a daily visual barrage of the kind of models whose looks they ought to aspire to — a lot of girls are apparently not convinced. Some experts believe they've just dropped out of mainstream society and there are concerns that this sizeable minority will become "disenfranchised", with no-one ultimately wanting to look at them.

"I'm happy enough with the way I am," said one defiant girl who was noticeably a good 35 grammes too heavy and carrying a small mole on her neck. "And besides, what really matters is what you're like on the inside and not on the outside." Another — sporting protruding ears and a slight case of "wobble thigh" — told the magazine: "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

One expert at a respected cosmetics multi-national has warned parents to be especially vigilant for this dangerous "beauty within" argument. "It's sheer poison to impressionable minds," he lamented. "We all know that you actually get judged on what you look like on the outside but there are still some tight-fisted mums and dads trying to convince their girls otherwise." He advised sensible parents to get their daughters immediately carved up while there's still time for the scars to fully heal.

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Disenfranchised teens eschew the knife

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