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  Monday 6th June 2005  World News   Powered by Yeast Logic
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Watergate puzzle cracked

Mystery of Mark Felt resolved after 30 years
by Ernie Glacken

One the most enduring mysteries of the 20th century has at last been solved with the announcement of who Mark Felt really was.

Ever since the "third rate burglary" that was Watergate took place, most of the hundreds of boxes on the subject have managed to find a place for Felt, Mark in their index with references ranging from the single (many) up to as high as four (one).

Now the 91-year-old Felt has confessed to being the man who was second in command at the FBI when no-one had any idea whatsoever as to the name of anyone working there except for J. Edgar Hoover and possibly Clyde Tolson.

"So that's who Mark Felt was!" exclaimed one veteran of 1970s Washington, "I was always trying to figure who the hell the guy was and now I find out that the was Deputy Director of the FBI. I bumped into him on lots of occasions when he was talking with some guy with the Post but this! Whodda thunkit?"

For over the past quarter of a century those who knew the truth have been sworn to silence on the basis that many who knew Felt would find his actions in working for Hoover "degrading" and those of a "traitor" and these would detract in some way from his sterling service as the man who helped bring down President Nixon.

However amidst all the media hoo-haa some voices have been raised doubting the story. "How can this guy have had time to have been involved with the running of the FBI?" queried one wizened sceptic, "when he was clearly far too busy moving plant pots on balcony windows and putting notes in page 20 of the New York Times?"

Previously

Go on then, hard man