How great leaders are born, not made (Pub-friendly) [The Rockall Times]

[Sound of children singing 'Boys and girls come out to play, the moon doth shine as bright as day…']

Joyce Grenfell: "Come along in children and sit on our special mat. We are going to have news-time, who's got some special news they want to share? Just a minute Kenny… Ariel what are you doing with those bricks? Building a wall? That's very nice dear but its news-time now. Why are you building a wall? Because you don't want to sit next to those thieving Arabs. Now that's not very nice is it? We are all friends in this class, aren't we boys and girls? and we are going to share our special mat. Ariel I want you to shake hands with Mahmoud and say sorry. Oh isn't that nice? Mahmoud has kissed you on both cheeks, and the lips, and now he's picked you up a is giving you a cuddle, Mahmoud put him down now dear, that's right. Ariel, put the bricks away and come and sit down.

"Where were we? Oh yes, Kenny was going to tell us his special news. What is it Kenny? Sports day is going to be in your garden? Well yes it is, that's right. Isn't that nice of Kenny's mummy to let us run races on her lawn? She is going to make us drinks and sandwiches for afterwards. Sorry Jacques what did you say? You don't like her sandwiches? Why not? They taste of newts! That's not a very kind thing to say. What was that Kenny? No, Jacques breath does not smell of garlic. No it doesn't dear, no… not even a little bit.

"Who's this coming in late? George and Tony! What have you boys been doing? You've started a gang? I'm not sure we like gangs in this class do we children? No we don't! What's it called? G8? Who is in charge of this gang? You are Tony… Oh I see, it's George's gang but Tony can pretend to be in charge today. Well it's nice to share things but we really don't like gangs. You remember what happened when you got poor Kofi to pretend to be in charge of your gang last year? You don't remember? Well I do, and I don't think poor Saddam will forget how you threw him out of the sandpit! He wasn't playing nicely? No George he wasn't, but two wrongs don't make a right do they? What? Your daddy says they do? Well your daddy isn't here is he and this is our class and we don't like bullies.

"Osama, come and sit down with the others. What's your news? You're going to break Kenny's train set? That's not very kind at all, why are you going to do that? Because Tony and George are friends with Kenny but they wont play with you. Is this right George? Why wont you play with Osama? Because he knocked your bricks over. Did you Osama? Why was that? Because George's dad tried to get Saddam out of the sandpit? George is friends with Ariel and they won't share the milk and biscuits? I think you are all being very silly. What did you say George? You are going to do what to Osama? We don't use that word here thank-you, no we don't, we say 'bottom' and we don't like kick-donkeys.

"I think we have had enough news. Let's collect the dinne/2002/06/10/sharon-thought.htmlr money. What did you say George? You have collected most of it already, and the G8 gang are going to pay for the poor boys and girls in Africa. Why are they poor?… because you collected the dinner money already. Would the G8 gang turn the heating down for us, its getting a bit stuffy in here? No? Why not George? Because although you recognise the stuffiness as a serious long-term challenge uncertainty remains in our understanding of central heating. George, you sound just like your father; don't do that!"

How great leaders are born, not made

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