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Sobbing teen recalls loan refusal trauma

The Financial Services Authority appeals tribunal convened today to hear the case of a teenager whose hitherto endless line of credit was abruptly cut off last month.

Blond and bubbly 17-year-old Veronica Jacobs of Folkestone explained to reporters how she had become used to endlessly sponging off her Mum and Dad and how the abrupt withdrawal of the credit facility had caused her considerable distress and embarrassment.

"It was like, so unfair," Explained Miss Jacobs who was seen to be wearing trainers and jeans which have not been fashionable since at least May. "I chucked in my A-levels 'cos they were so boring, right? And my Dad says: 'Well your not spending all day lolling about watching telly.' And I said to him: 'Fuc*k off you don't know nothing.' And he said: 'Right that's it I've had enough, get yourself a job 'cos you wont get another penny out of me.' The bastard!" she concluded.

Miss Jacobs' solicitor summarised her complaint in detail: "My client contends that having enjoyed 17 years of interest free credit she..."

"That's right!" interrupted Miss Jacobs. "It's not like it was a proper loan, I never charged them interest or nothing and they knew they wouldn't see the money again."

The solicitor continued: "Having enjoyed the facility for 17 years she feels it unreasonable to have withdrawn the credit without notice or due warning. Furthermore, my client notes that she always helped around the house, specifically 3 February 2004 when 'Mum was ill that time' she filled the dishwasher and only last week she emptied it. Indeed, my client would like to know if she is the only one who 'knows how to use the bloody thing'."

The case will focus on a £20 loan which Miss Jacobs was refused on 6 July. Mr Jacobs asserts that the loan was requested for the purpose of "going out with my mates for a few drinks; what's it got to do with you baldy?" whereas Veronica contends that she intended to use the money to "buy flowers for her Gran who has been feeling a bit low lately 'cos its five years since Granddad ran off with the aerobics lady". Mrs Jacobs observes that her Mum has been a bit low and thinks the world of Veronica. Mrs Jacobs also claims to have slipped Veronica £30 on the quiet but Veronica claims no memory of the transaction — or indeed much of the subsequent evening.

Experts believe that this will be a landmark case, if found in favour of the plaintiff British parents may have no choice but to petition for bankruptcy if they want to sever the financial umbilicus. Alternately, if Mr Jacobs wins then spotty work-shy ne'er-do-wells will soon be standing three deep behind the counter at MacDonald's.

Specialists in this type of case are confident that Miss Jacobs will prevail. "She needs to sniff an onion at the appropriate juncture and then sob 'I know you never loved me but I'll always love you 'cos you're my Daddy'. Generally speaking this strategy is good for £50 per week for at least ten weeks," said a debt counsellor.

Previously

• Banks issue Easter credit warning
• Man saves money to make purchase
• Parents express shock at son’s inexplicable accent

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