Polish-Ukrainian consortium celebrates Olympic construction coup

The award of the first of several lucrative contracts for the construction of "state-of-the-art" facilities for the London Olympic Games in 2012 has been announced. The hitherto little known Polish/Ukrainian based construction consortium Bodgitupski and Scarperov™ have been awarded the contract worth £155m to build the athletes' accommodation in the Olympic village. The official announced of the contract was made by the Sports Minister Tessa Jowell who heads the Government led Management, Advisory and Supervisory Olympic National Infrastructure Committee (MASONIC) body. Following the announcement London Mayor Mr Ken Livingstone said that the contract was awarded in line with the Metropolitan Authorities multi-cultural policy of encouraging ethnic integration into the building industry where Government statistics show there is a major shortage of skilled and semi-skilled workers from overseas. He specifically referred to recent reports in the press highlighting the particular shortage of electricians in the capital.

In order to meet the demands for the manpower needed in the project, Bodgitupski and Scarperov™ hope to reach an agreement with the home secretary Mr Charles Clarke which will enable visa applications from highly skilled construction workers from Eastern Europe to be fast tracked and that temporary UK residence permits for the workforce and their families be granted. The company in return will give assurances that when the works are complete the employees will return to their home countries. Financial experts in the City have referred to Bodgitupski and Scarperovs™ dynamic expansion in recent months following their successful tendering for several major construction projects in Iran and North Korea where "exciting new possibilities have arisen" in the electricity generating industry.

Some fears were expressed concerning the influx of large numbers of foreign workers into London but Mr R Kray Jnr. — the chairman of the Eastend Association of Traders and Barrowboys — welcomed the news and felt certain that his organisation would become heavily involved in the investment opportunities which would arise in the economically deprived areas of East London. Mr Kray referred to his familys traditional links with sporting facilities such as greyhound racing, boxing and snooker halls in London which date back to the 1950s.

The Rockall Times has been unable to get anyone at Bodgitupski and Scarperov™ to comment officially due to the fact that the answer-machine at their European Headquarters seems to be out of action. However, we did finally speak to company secretary Tracy who acting under a certain misapprehension promised us that one of the brothers would be around sometime next week to "put right that flat roof". The company, which is hoping soon to be floated on the London Stock Exchange, advertises extensively in the London Yellow Pages and its Corporate Code of Practice states that it is always available for free estimates, that no job too small, that satisfaction is guaranteed and lists the digging of footings, loft conversions, bathroom tiling, tarmacking of drives and motorway construction as amongst its current extensive works portfolio.

Previously

• London dances Olympic Okey Cokey
• Pie eaters wreck London Olympic bid
• Britain reels after rollercoaster week of Olympic action