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This is a pub-friendly version of this article — print it out and take it with you down the boozer. |
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The original is at http://www.therockalltimes.co.uk/2005/09/12/deeley-shocker.html.
Cat Deeley in Playboy shocker
I'd pose naked. Maybe
by Paparazzi O'Leery
Highly-talented TV personality Cat Deeley — the only woman on the planet who can challenge Julia Roberts for the "greatest acreage of teeth inside a single head" title — has admitted that she would consider posing naked for Playboy if an offer were forthcoming.
"If Playboy makes me an offer I would consider it," admitted the lads' mags favourite, hinting that she might be concealing reproductive organs and nipples behind the clothing which has hitherto concealed her most intimate body parts.
The editor of Men's Maximum Health — which has in the past printed snaps of Cat in a bikini, cavorting in a foam-filled bath, topless with nothing but her perfectly manicured hands to contain her heaving mams, in a PVC catsuit and suggestively sucking an asparagus spear while wrapped in a skimpy basque — told us: "Well, she hasn't been in the papers for while, so I suppose that hinting you might be about to flash some bush is as good a way as any to get in the tabloids. Mind you, actually flashing your beef curtains is better for business. Ask Abi Titmuss. We've got her lined up for a shoot next week where she's wearing nothing more than a nurse's cap and has a cucumber sticking out of her arse. That's what I call newsworthy."
Indeed, Abi Titmuss last night confirmed that she would agree to pose naked for Playboy if an offer were forthcoming. "If Playboy makes me an offer I would agree immediately," admitted the lads' mags favourite.
The editor of Men's Maximum Health — which has in the past printed snaps of Abi in a bikini, cavorting in a foam-filled bath, topless with nothing but her perfectly manicured hands to contain her heaving mams, in a PVC catsuit, suggestively sucking an asparagus spear while wrapped in a skimpy basque and stark bollock naked sucking the hideously empurpled member of a former TV presenter — told us: "Well, she been in the papers every day for the last two years, so I suppose that you're about to flash some beautifully-airbrushed bush is as good a way as any to keep you name in the tabloids. Mind you, actually having flashed your beef curtains is better for business. Ask Jordan. We've got her lined up for a shoot next week where she's wearing nothing more than a 10,000-ft pink wedding train and is sucking off Peter Andre who's dressed as Stan Collymore. That's what I call newsworthy."
Indeed, Katie Price last night confirmed that she had agreed to pose naked for Playboy after an offer was forthcoming. "When Playboy made me an offer I agreed immediately," admitted the lads' mags favourite.
Previously
From The Rockall Times Monday 12th September 2005
http://www.therockalltimes.co.uk/.