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Kate Moss confirmed fresh face of Rockall

Supermodel Kate Moss was last night confirmed as the new face of Rockall for the 2005-6 season following a short discussion in the women's toilets of London's Met Bar, the Rockall Marketing Board has confirmed.

Moss, 15, is reported as "over the moon" at the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to represent the world's remotest islet following her ignominious fall from grace with several top fashion houses. Her dismissal from a veritable bulemia of top-flight contracts came as a result of lurid tabloid revelations that she was battling an addiction to deadly Pete Doherty. The final straw came when she was pictured indulging in Doherty in a nightclub, despite previous assurances that she had "kicked the habit".

Anxious to draw a line under the whole affair, Moss's agent told The Rockall Times: "Kate is absolutely delighted to be chosen to promote Rockall. She has been using the guillemot guano rejuvenating facial scrub for years and is a great fan of the detox kelp bodywrap."

A Rockall Marketing Board spokesperson added: "We're delighted to have Kate on board following a rocky few years with Naomi Campbell fronting the campaign". The spokesperson refused to be led on what caused Rockall and Campbell to part company, but insiders hinted that "screaming and punching and slapping people repeatedly" may have played a part.

We can exclusively reveal that Kate has already done one shoot for a campaign promoting the merits of Rockall's organic products (seen here), which was directed by top fashion snappa Mario Testino at a beach location near Newcastle. Testino and Moss are expected to travel soon to the sacred islet itself for the Rockall 2006 calendar shoot, during which the highly-talented clotheshorse will wow the locals by clinging to the island's precipitous east face dressed in nothing more than a Stella McCartney-designed survival suit and Paloma Picasso's Plankton nautical fragrance.

The terms of the contract are being kept tightly under wraps, but are rumoured to be three-and-six a week plus as much crack cocaine as Moss can consume before her delightful titties drop off.

Previously

• Revealed: The secret history of Vogue
• Supermodel fights newspaper race hate vendetta
• Rape crisis centres help ease supermodel's pain

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