New York Subway on Defcon infrared

New York, New York — New York City will install 1,000 surveillance cameras and 3,000 motion sensors in its vast labyrinth of subway and rail stations, it was announced this week. The announcement's timing, coming on the heels of the most specific threat to date of a terrorist attack on the subway system, was greeted with skepticism and derision by New Yorkers. Although the Metropolitan Transit Authority approved an expenditure in 2002 of $591m dollars in increased security systems, only $1,169 of that budget has been utilized for locks on bathroom doors to keep out homeless squatters.

Mayor Michael Bloomberg said the FBI had shared with officials "a specific threat" and asked the public to be vigilant. The New York Police said that more officers are patrolling the subways and commuters are encouraged to report anyone suspicious or anything out of the ordinary. When reminded that most people who ride the subways in New York are "suspicious", the Police Commissioner blustered: "Okay. If it's a Brazilian guy in a heavy coat, who jumps the booth, and refuses an order to 'Stop!', just carry on. If it's a Muslim with a baby carriage, and the baby looks like Osama bin Laden, call 911."

New York's subway system carries 4.5 million riders daily. At Union Square Station, one of the system's largest, police conducted random searches, standing at folding picnic tables with hand-lettered signs reading "Backpacks, briefcases and babies require inspection prior to boarding the train". It is not known whether the officers changed any diapers. Law-abiding New Yorkers carrying concealed weapons for protection from their fellow citizens were waived through.

Previously

• US fury at BBC 9/11 news bias
• New York fire brigade embraces new 'non-combatant' recruits
• Rockall to defy 9/11 anniversary terror threat