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  Monday 24th October 2005  Society   Powered by Yeast Logic
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Sandhurst to get second helping of Royalness

Wills prepares for frontline action
by Greg Doublewank

The Royal Military College of Sandhurst is to receive its second helping of Royalness when Prince William gets ready to join up and do his bit. His younger brother, Prince Harry, is already there and reportedly doing well.

Commandant of Sandhurst, Major General Sir Archibald Pith-Helmet said that the two Princes would not receive any preferential status or favours and would be "drilled, exercised and probably buggered witless by senior cadets, just like any other average Sandhurst man. I for one was abused roundly by several senior men, but it makes a man of you, I can tell you. So if they come blubbing to me that Cadet X has just bummed them in the showers, well I shall just tell them to jolly well go back and ask for another one!"

Prince William said that he fully expected to go into active frontline service and that he was not expecting a cushy desk job at SHAFE. After all, the Duke of York saw frontline service in the Falklands flying helicopters and many were impressed by the way Prince Andrew handled his chopper.

Prince Harry joked that he was looking forward to having his older brother at Sandhurst especially as William would have to salute him! Prince William joked back saying: "If the little shit gets on his high horse with me, then after I am crowned King I'll have his balls in a sling!"

Prince Charles, heir to the Throne and friend of flora and fungi, was described as being "chuffed" that his two sons were setting an example to young men of their generation by serving Grandmother and Country and not "poncing around like some woofter in theatrical costume, no names mentioned".

Prince Edward was on hand to give some Uncley advice and proffered: "Get the fuc*k out as soon as you can. It didn't do me any harm with the public or mummy. I still do my bit in the reserves, so there!"

Indeed, Prince Cop-Out is due to go on 48-hour exercise next week with the TA Battalion of the Queen's Own Mincers.

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